Okay, so those wild and crazy BP guys grimed up the coastline. Oh boo-hoo. It’s time to stop crying over spilled oil. Just don a hazmat suit and put on your happy face. BP is generously giving every citizen free toxic, nerve-damaging oil – the same oil that goes up in price every year at the pumps! – absolutely free for the taking. Who would have ever imagined having “free oil” in our lifetime? And did you notice? By some miracle, we have no oil shortages to worry about. Before the oil spill, threats of an oil shortage were always looming over the gas pumps. Now suddenly, the idea of an oil shortage has completely disappeared like gas fumes. And holy crap, it keeps getting better: the price of gas has dropped! It’s as though we’ve been blessed by the oil Gods. Or cartels. Whatever!
We should give British Petroleum at least some credit. BP is now generously selling off parts of itself to pay for its initial tightwad, cost-cutting measures that led to gross negligence and the death several men on an exploding oil rig. Maybe former President Bush deserves a mention as well. Had it not been for his reversing Environmental Protection regulations, and also allowing the Federal Mineral Management Service to get cozy with the oil companies, perhaps Big Oil would have adhered to federal regulations. Instead, government inspectors and the oil companies became leeches that took advantage of their government host – a culture created by former President Bush primarily to enrich himself and his cronies. After eight long years of Bush in office, bad practices are hard to break.
Thus, we find ourselves immersed in an oily quagmire. What better time to remind ourselves of the old adage, “If given lemons, make lemonade.” BP has given us tar and oil. We could pave the gulf coast and put up a parking lot. Joni Mitchell had no idea the parking lot she wrote about would be the gulf coastline. Instead of a “tree museum,” we could have a “sea museum.”
Oh, don’t be blue; no need to be in a funk. We have skimmers, Kevin Costner’s water cleaning equipment and all the Dawn™ dishwashing liquid we need to make the coastline and animals squeaky clean. A little warning to the Obama administration, though: You’d be wise to get your booty moving as fast as you possibly can. Come the 2012 election, if the coastline is still mucked up in BP’s failure, foolish voters will be looking for another George Bush to lead them into possibly even bigger quagmires.
@July 13, 2010 Reiko Eoh
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your blog posts. In any case I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!
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And you don’t have to worry about suntan oil while at the beach anymore either.
LoL! Yeah George, I see a nice human saute’ Yum! :0)
Great cartoon. Who needs suntan oil when you can just roll over the sand and you are good to go.
LoL, indeed! Thanks for your comment Tim; appreciate it! :0)
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Hi Physicians assistant, thanks much for subscribing! Much appreciated. :0)